When Jimothy was a fat kid, he didn’t get made fun of at
school. This might have been because he was funny or because he was ale to beat
someone down with his heft. In reality, he probably only looked like he was
able to beat someone down with his heft. The day he went to the doctor and they
told him that he was over 100lbs, he felt weird shame about it. He didn’t cry
or anything, but he felt guilty for a good day or so. After that, he went back
to Salisbury steak during lunch, including potatoes and gravy.[i]
He increased in size as the years went by, bench marks of various kinds passing
as he aged. He graduated from elementary school as a double chin was starting
to develop, reveled in mathematics as he grew into a size 40 jean, and had some
trouble fitting into the chair/ desks in college. He fluctuated a bit after
that, but remained mostly the same size as he was when about 23. His size and
physical description had very little to do with his life otherwise.
Sometimes Jimothy did not feel very sexy, though. When he
masturbated, he would close his eyes very tightly and massage his buttocks so
that he could get a sense of what life might be like when touching another
cohabitant of the material plane. He did his best to keep a tidy workspace, so
to speak, tissues at the ready, nary a wad or loose thread to be found strewn
about. Other than these moments, his acquaintance with his body was nil. In the
shower, he spent hurried moments rinsing and lathering and rinsing again for
purely perfunctory reasons. There was no pleasure in the act of bathing as
there might have been in, for example, a Dove commercial wherein the model
lavishes herself with a plastic loofa sponge. Jimothy tried not to think about
this when he masturbated.
[i] To be fair
to the lunch ladies, it’s important to note that it can be tough to try
pleasing the palates and appetites of a school’s worth of idiot children seeking
food and know-how.
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